©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Some days, I want to scream.  I’m sure you’ve had that experience, too. Perhaps, not for the same reason. I want to scream because I cannot believe the number of distractions people who say they are focused on building their businesses find….AND JUSTIFY! ( Oooo, that’s just put the scream up a few decibels! )

As a business consultant and executive coach, I get the urge to scream far too frequently for that one reason alone. Wonderful, well-intended people hire me to coach them to systematically clarify, construct and grow their businesses. They swear blind that they want to achieve “A”, and are frequently running after the rest of the alphabet, with carefully constructed, elaborately convoluted, reasons why!

How do you determine if you are driving yourself to distraction?

• You are not getting where you say you want to go in a meaningfully measurable way.
• You are feeling overwhelmed much of the time, too many wheels spinning and not enough hands.
• You are always attracted to new, shiny objects when what you were playing with is just becoming pliable, comfortable and useful.
• You vociferously defend your choices to stray from the mission you’ve set yourself and justify the departures loudly.

I know it is difficult to stay generally on the path. Shiny things attract. Marketing language of others beckons. Fear of “losing an opportunity,” or “leaving a stone unturned” paralyzes. Lack of confidence in your intuition and judgment wanes. Others are too ready to share their opinions of what you should do…even if you didn’t ask. There are many distractions. It is up to each one of us to calculate the cost of tempting detours in terms of time, energy, money, frustration and loss.  And, it’s up to each one of us to ‘fess up to the degree of our commitment to our missions.  Sometimes, that’s just talk, too.

One thing I know for sure…and I learned it the long, hard way: I cannot say I want one thing, do another, and hope for a satifying result. Although, I do know a few people so addicted to drama, that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a tale of woe to tell. They love distractions, especially when they can make them someone else’s fault.  Go figure!

Thanks for letting me “scream” here!  Is it still a scream if no one is listening?

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business

www.Rhoberta.com
Escondido, CA
Follow me on Twitter:  www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
Join me on Facebook:  www.profile.to/rhoberta & on LinkedIn: www.LinkedIn.com/in/rhobertashaler

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Some folks seem to be slipping toward overwhelm and sliding towards defeat. They are ready to throw up their hands and toss in the towel. I wish they were my coaching clients, so, that wouldn’t be the case.  However, I’ve met a few folks lately who are on the verge of succumbing to the popular press of doom and gloom.  Are they desperate enough to re-mortgage their houses to buy a promise?

Now, it’s not that I’m PollyAnna over here, pretending folks are not losing their jobs and, along with it, a lot of heart. Change is everywhere. And, contrary to popular opinion, I tend to think it is a good correction, a necessary adjustment in the marketplace. Not a comfortable one. Simply a necessary one.

A colleague and I had an interesting conflab the other day about whether or not it is possible to really gain significantly more from a coach who charges you $100,000 a year than from one who charges you $20,000.  Or, is it just that the $100k chap has bigger body parts than the $20k, so asks for the high price?   (Don’t you love it when their selling story contains “Don’t make money an issue. You deserve this.” while they are teetering on the verge of bankruptcy?) Or, does that $100k buy you much more than coaching, for instance, access to the “Ol’ Boys Club” where insiders feather each other’s nests? Is that what makes it worthwhile?  What would make it worth it for you to spend $100,000 a year on coaching?  I’d be really interested to know.

With the public scandals of high-price executives feathering their nests with dollars many folks could ill afford to lose, it raises a lot of questions about the economy of scale.  Are sports figures worth the salaries they get?  How did those figures hit it out of the ballpark, so to speak? There’s a conversation for another day, right?

I guess, for me, this all comes down to matters of integrity. And, only you know what’s right for you in your business ethics. I just received a very compelling marketing piece inviting me to participate in a weekend program where the raving testimonials claim increases of up to 300% in their income following the program. That sounds remarkable. Or, is the person selling you the insider information to make seven figures annually actually making her seven-figures annually by selling the programs to you? Think about that one!

Nest-building is a curious activity.  Whose nest is feathered with whose feathers and who actually creates and keeps the nest egg?  I teach my mentoring clients to ask these questions pro-actively.  How about you?

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the live, love & livelihood that fulfills you

www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Whether we define our success in terms of quality of life, joy in relationships, fame, recognition or piles of money, the first step in creating it…aside from buying a lottery ticket…is to consciously evaluate our alignment.  I know I have to do this on a regular basis in order to stay in the flow.  I expect you do, too.

There is so much talk about values and yet, I know that with my mentoring clients and seminar participants, actually coming to grips with those values is seldom done. How do I  know I value something in reality?  I demonstrate it in my daily life, in my thinking, speaking and behaving.  Otherwise, it’s just talk!

The other day, working with a group, I asked them to quickly name the top four things they valued in life. In fact, I gave them ten seconds only.  No one could do it.  The reason why not is that they’d had never taken the time for themselves to actually figure it out. And, yes, they could talk the talk with ease!

When we wrote on the back cover of our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, that ‘YOU MATTER,” we really meant it.  And, unless we treat ourselves as if that is true, we are kidding ourselves.  I ask myself this question:

“How have I demonstrated to myself today that I matter? Have I taken care of my health? Spent time in reflection with inspiring books or in meditation? Fed my soul? Made time for relationships that I value? Worked in a focused way following my business plan? “

The answer tells the whole story.  If my life is not centered around my vision, values, beliefs and purpose, I may be wildly off track and likely chasing dollar bills while living up to someone else’s expectations.

When I begin work with a new mentoring client or mentoring group of members , one of the first exercises is to work with values. When we have wrestled with that, there is sufficient clarity to move on with life, love and focused livelihood. I know the value of consciously aligning life for success.  I invite you to take the time to do so, too.

*  When you are ready to accelerate your progress and improve your life or business, consider an individual or group mentoring program with me.  Working on the telephone for three months together can change everything…and get you back in the flow in every way.  Visit www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com and call me soon.  I’d love to work with you to create the life, love and livelihood that fulfills you.

To your success.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Dr. Shaler is the founder of the Optimize Institute & Spiritual Living Network
Work with her directly to accelerate your success in life, love & business.

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