©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Some days, I want to scream.  I’m sure you’ve had that experience, too. Perhaps, not for the same reason. I want to scream because I cannot believe the number of distractions people who say they are focused on building their businesses find….AND JUSTIFY! ( Oooo, that’s just put the scream up a few decibels! )

As a business consultant and executive coach, I get the urge to scream far too frequently for that one reason alone. Wonderful, well-intended people hire me to coach them to systematically clarify, construct and grow their businesses. They swear blind that they want to achieve “A”, and are frequently running after the rest of the alphabet, with carefully constructed, elaborately convoluted, reasons why!

How do you determine if you are driving yourself to distraction?

• You are not getting where you say you want to go in a meaningfully measurable way.
• You are feeling overwhelmed much of the time, too many wheels spinning and not enough hands.
• You are always attracted to new, shiny objects when what you were playing with is just becoming pliable, comfortable and useful.
• You vociferously defend your choices to stray from the mission you’ve set yourself and justify the departures loudly.

I know it is difficult to stay generally on the path. Shiny things attract. Marketing language of others beckons. Fear of “losing an opportunity,” or “leaving a stone unturned” paralyzes. Lack of confidence in your intuition and judgment wanes. Others are too ready to share their opinions of what you should do…even if you didn’t ask. There are many distractions. It is up to each one of us to calculate the cost of tempting detours in terms of time, energy, money, frustration and loss.  And, it’s up to each one of us to ‘fess up to the degree of our commitment to our missions.  Sometimes, that’s just talk, too.

One thing I know for sure…and I learned it the long, hard way: I cannot say I want one thing, do another, and hope for a satifying result. Although, I do know a few people so addicted to drama, that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a tale of woe to tell. They love distractions, especially when they can make them someone else’s fault.  Go figure!

Thanks for letting me “scream” here!  Is it still a scream if no one is listening?

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business

www.Rhoberta.com
Escondido, CA
Follow me on Twitter:  www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
Join me on Facebook:  www.profile.to/rhoberta & on LinkedIn: www.LinkedIn.com/in/rhobertashaler

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

I was imagining a dog trying to chase two cars at the same time.  All I could see was the confused look on the face of the dog as his head spun. Slowly he stopped, realizing the futility of the exercise.  In that somewhat amusing picture, I found a sobering thought, a real insight into daily living.

Am I trying to chase two cars at the same time myself?  The two cars represent to me two conflicting goals, or two so primary that each requires all my effort and energy to accomplish, and therefore,  must be done one at a time.  Those cars also represent two conflicting ideas, like fear and faith. When I wrote about this the other day, it was in a different vein, but the conflict is still there. If I believe in ____ (You fill in the word you’re comfortable with: God, Unversal Life Force, Higher Power, Universe, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Jesus….) and that belief carries with it the assurance that all good has been given to me and that I “stand on holy ground”,  that is one car. If each time I allow fear to enter into my mind and take over my thoughts or feelings,  fear about money, health, work, relationships, I’m chasing another car.  Exhausting and fruitless!  So, I’m just going to have to choose and re-choose which car to chase.

How about you?

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the aligned life, love & livelihood that fulfills you
www.SoulWiseLiving.com
If you want insights, support & guidance on creating the life, love & livelihood that you long for, you can have it. Engage with me for three months and get moving!

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Whether we define our success in terms of quality of life, joy in relationships, fame, recognition or piles of money, the first step in creating it…aside from buying a lottery ticket…is to consciously evaluate our alignment.  I know I have to do this on a regular basis in order to stay in the flow.  I expect you do, too.

There is so much talk about values and yet, I know that with my mentoring clients and seminar participants, actually coming to grips with those values is seldom done. How do I  know I value something in reality?  I demonstrate it in my daily life, in my thinking, speaking and behaving.  Otherwise, it’s just talk!

The other day, working with a group, I asked them to quickly name the top four things they valued in life. In fact, I gave them ten seconds only.  No one could do it.  The reason why not is that they’d had never taken the time for themselves to actually figure it out. And, yes, they could talk the talk with ease!

When we wrote on the back cover of our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, that ‘YOU MATTER,” we really meant it.  And, unless we treat ourselves as if that is true, we are kidding ourselves.  I ask myself this question:

“How have I demonstrated to myself today that I matter? Have I taken care of my health? Spent time in reflection with inspiring books or in meditation? Fed my soul? Made time for relationships that I value? Worked in a focused way following my business plan? “

The answer tells the whole story.  If my life is not centered around my vision, values, beliefs and purpose, I may be wildly off track and likely chasing dollar bills while living up to someone else’s expectations.

When I begin work with a new mentoring client or mentoring group of members , one of the first exercises is to work with values. When we have wrestled with that, there is sufficient clarity to move on with life, love and focused livelihood. I know the value of consciously aligning life for success.  I invite you to take the time to do so, too.

*  When you are ready to accelerate your progress and improve your life or business, consider an individual or group mentoring program with me.  Working on the telephone for three months together can change everything…and get you back in the flow in every way.  Visit www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com and call me soon.  I’d love to work with you to create the life, love and livelihood that fulfills you.

To your success.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Dr. Shaler is the founder of the Optimize Institute & Spiritual Living Network
Work with her directly to accelerate your success in life, love & business.

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Ah, the siren call of options masquerading as opportunities!  When I begin working with a new mentoring client, one of the first things that is often required is to make that big distinction between options and opportunities.  That requires ongoing vigilance, and, it’s essential and basic to business success.

Especially now as some folks are experiencing fear of insufficiency, marketing language must be carefully deciphered. As belts tighten, I’ve been watching the language in the subject lines and copy of the thousands of emails I get each week. You’ve seen them.  It’s not rocket science to decipher, at all.   Here’s a few examples:

“Due to the amazing popularity of this program, we are holding the earlybird price over for three more days.” Means “We didn’t get enough people to buy it yet, so, we’re taking one more opportunity to engage you.

“My boss told me that it is time for generosity, so, we’re going to make it easy for you.  We’ll let you bring a friend for the same price as one admission. Two for one!” Means:  1. If this message was the first you received for this program, it could be a genuine offer.  2. If this message was the first you received, the price may well have been significantly increased so the company is still well-compensated. 3. If you receive the message after an intial message, registrations are way down and they are desperate to fill the room.

“Honestly, we’ll teach you everything you need to know to be making money hand over fist in fifteen minutes or less on the very first day.” Well, that one doesn’t need much explaining.  (And, if it does, you need more than a mentor to create a viable business, and I’ve got great refrigerators you can sell to Eskimos!)

So, I was thinking about this today because of a comment left on another blog entry here “How refreshing…”.  I know I’ve been pulled off my path repeatedly over the years by distracting offers that look like opportunities.  I’ve even engaged in this kind of thinking that you might even recognize:

“If I just do this twenty-four hours a day for a month or two, I’ll make money to invest in my real business. It will be a great income generator on the side when I return to my own business plan. ”

I don’t know if that kind of thinking worked for you. I’m sure it is possible. But, for me, I learned that whatever that was that looked like an opportunity was only an option, and, definitely a distration.  It certainly took me away from by business and marketing plans, and brought my “real” business to a halt.  But, I could justify it, right? It was an iron-clad “opportunity.”  It was worth throwing my plans aside for the promise of a quick influx of cash.  NOT!  Why? Because the influx never happened. The time was wasted. The distraction was  confusing. I kicked myself thoroughly afterward. AND, I still had to return to my business plans and I was now further behind.  Not good.

It has been a few years since this last happened. I’m not going to ever let it happen again.  Is there any chance you’re chasing an opportunity that is really only an option…and, maybe, a mirage at that?

The best opportunities are the ones you make yourself by creating great relationships, staying on task and on point, and believing that success come from aligning your values, vision, beliefs and purpose with what you do every minute.  That’s what I’ve learned!

To Your Success!
Rhoberta

P.S.  You can connect with me on LinkedIn, Facebook & Twitter. Look for ‘RhobertaShaler’

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life & livelihood you long for

Founder, www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com & Sow Peace, www.SowPeace.com
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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

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