© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Last night,  I was facilitating one of my “Conversation Clinics.”  (Those are online and onsite groups that help participants with how to best manage current issues in their lives and businesses.)  And, last night, the conversation turned to living the values one professes to hold in day-to-day business.

I told them about a corporate group I had worked with in the afternoon. This is a team in trouble and the last resort was to call me in to “fix” things.  I facilitated conversations and offered training and coaching for three months. Yesterday was the last session.  The participants were very unhappy to know it was the last session. They asked the boss in attendance why that was so. His response:

“I cared enough about this team to bring in the best person I could to bring about the changes that are necessary. She gave you the tools, the insights and strategies that would make the differences required. I know she did because I have been here with you.  In three months, you have received all this information and not one thing has changed.  So, Dr. Shaler, tell them what you think.”

Wow! What a hand-off to me! I was prepared, however, and I said this:

“There is a huge difference between information and knowldge. I gave you the information. Only you can make it knowledge, by internalizing it. Only you can take responsiblity for turning information into knowledge that is demonstrable in your approach to your work and each other. I believe, from watching your interactions and speaking with each of you privately, that, despite my warnings, you were all waiting for someone else to change. You could take a hundred courses and have piles of handouts, books & DVD’s and they will not make a whit of difference until you integrate the information with who you are and what you choose to do each moment. That is why the boss has withdrawn my services from you. You have done nothing with the information.”

My question to you, dear fellow women entrepreneur: how much information are you spouting that only went from your head to your mouth? Until it goes through your head, heart, thoughts, words and actions, it’s just information. Now is the time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Once you know that, for sure, you can decide on how to offer your expertise and experience to the world in ways that are aligned with your vision, values, beliefs and purpose. That’s a integral component of business success and can make all the difference in your success in 2010!

If you want help with that alignment, or, want to ask a question or get feedback on an idea or strategy, you can book a forty-minute (I’m throwing in an extra ten minutes over the usual)  introductory mentoring session for only $59 for new clients. That can really kickstart your business confidently!   Register now at ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com/mentoring/index.htm

Here’s to extrordinary business growth in 2010!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

• Do you balk when someone is in your face?
• Do you freeze when someone is aggressive with you?
• Do you think of a comeback hours too late?
• Do you live in fear of seeing or interacting or working with that person again?

If the answer is “Yes!” then you don’t know what to do that is effective and productive when faced with conflict. GOOD NEWS! The skills to manage and accommodate conflict are learned. That’s where you got the ones you have AND you can get better, more effective ones easily.

We have not come far from the reptiles when it comes to being faced with anger, conflict or confrontation. Our reptilian brain only knows how to fight, flee or freeze.  Apparently, conflict management wasn’t an option in the days of the dinosaurs!

With systematically developed communication and conflict management skills, you can feel much more competence, comfortable and confident every day. You know you can handle it, and that feels good.

Recently I was consulting to a company who had employee problems ruining their productivity and profitability. Morale was down the drain. Trust was almost non-existent. People simply showed up and went through the motions most days. On other days, it was all out war…in the most underhanded, undermining ways as well as loudly, rudely and viciously. What an incentive to take sick days!

No company can afford this. In fact, Dan Dana’s research shows that up to 42% of an employees time is spent engaging in or trying to resolve conflict. And, I add, without skills they can’t resolve anything!

So, the client had called me when he was dangling from the last threads of his tether.

“Help! If something doesn’t happen, we’re going to go bankrupt. They are difficult to work with. Their animosity for each other spreads to their attitude with customers. They demonstrate little respect for each other, and, I know they are just holding themselves back from being insubordinate with me.  What can you do?”

I said:  “Take a deep breath!”

And, then we began to unpack the issues, history and probably steps to solution.

The simple truth is: WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US!  If we once let them treat us badly, we’ve begun to set a pattern…and, often, set it in stone. This CEO had not developed a conscious culture for his company, had not communicated the ways in which employees would interact in order to stay employed, and had no mechanism for agreement. So, not only did folks have no skills, they had no direction.

Corporate culture must be defined. Yes, it takes time away from the day-to-day, but it is essential. Without defining corporate culture, anything goes.  If don’t know the agreements–and the consequences of stepping outside of them–there is stress. The problem is that without those agreements, no one knows where the boundaries are.

COMPANIES HAVE THE TEACH EMPLOYEES HOW TO TREAT EACH OTHER AT WORK!  They do that by pr0-actively addressing this in their corporate culture documents and discussing it fully–and enforcing it–with their teams.

What’s going on in your neck of the woods?

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
www.Rhoberta.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.WorkplacePeopleSkills.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler

Are your systems supporting you?  Do you know what needs to be done? Do you have a business plan? Do you know what your marketing campaign looks like? Is it all on the calendar broken down into do-able chunks?

It’s so easy for me to know that I should have all that, but, I resist doing it.  Not that I don’t do it.  I do. But, oh, how I resist!  I want to get on with things, right now. All that thinking through and organizing and making file folders, yuck! I’m just champing at the bit to get on and do things.

It was a hard-learned lesson that creating systems actually saves me time, frustration, anxiety and concern. I know when things are due. I have created a schedule of the tasks required to be ready by that due date and I usually meet the deadline easily.

This is what Michael Gerber wrote about in the E-Myth when he said that we have to take the time to work ON our businesses, not just work IN them. It’s seductive to think we are really progressing towards success when we are only working IN our business. Working ON the business seems to be, for most of my clients and certainly earlier for myself, to be so tedious.  Not so.  I can tell you that I certainly feel much better taking the time to know exactly what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and when so that nothing falls off the turnip truck!

If your systems are not supporting you, you are not supporting yourself. That’s what I’ve learned.  So, take a day to organize.  Hey, it’s only one day away from the joy of “doing” that will pay-off a hundredfold.  If a day seems like a trial, how about an hour a day for two weeks?  Just do it. You’ll be glad you did.

To your success,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you…and makes money.
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Visit our site to hear interviews with successful women entrepreneurs. They share their stories, strugges and successes to shortcut your journey!

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Have you noticed how easy it is to lose focus, or, am I a lone ranger in this department?   I have a good business plan, a workable marketing plan, a passion for what I’m doing and excellent skills, yet, there are days!!!  So, I had to do something to get me quickly on track the minute I recognized possible derailment.

Across from my desk, on the wall above my monitor, I put a white board. It lists the MUST-DO’s in three columns: daily, weekly, bi-weekly.  That way, I have a visual check-list that keeps me focused.  That helps with the regular tasks. All tasks also pop-up in Outlook and that is where I keep the monthly ones, too.

Now, I had to have a good think about how to avoid distractions.  First, I listed the rabbit holes I was familiar with, the places that drew my attention with no return on investment.

• Ah, yes, let’s consider the magnetic attraction of Law & Order and other things that are “only for an hour.”  OK, keep the covering on the TV during the day.  Check.
• How many times a day do I check email, or Facebook, or Twitter, or…..?   Streamline that to three times a day. Check.
• What is the draw to the kitchen?  I’m certainly not hungry but it beckons. Eat protein and vegetables three times a day with a little…I mean, a little…carb because I know that keeps me out of the cupboards. Check.
• Do I really need to answer the phone WHEN it rings?  No, let them realize I’m busy.  I’ll return calls twice a day. Check.

Hmmmm….now, I’m free to focus on the list of  tasks that build and maintain my business.  Now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?  All it took was the willingness to pay attention.

What tips can you share about maintaining focus on what matters most to your business?

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…Coaching you to create the aligned life & livelihood that fulfills you.
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Join my groups, For Women Entrepreneurs, on Facebook and LinkedIn.  You are welcome!

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Today I’ve been busy inviting women in my Facebook and LinkedIn groups called…surprisingly, lol…”For Women Entrepreneurs,” to my free teleseminar tomorrow at noon Pacific Time called Eight Essential Advantages Women Entrepreneurs Have & How to Use Them to Accelerate Your Business.  (If you missed it, don’t worry. I do it each month.  Just visit http://ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com for the next.) Those two groups are filled with wonderful women who understand what women do well and they want to do it!  Connect, Converse and Collaborate.  And, the teleseminar is a great way for us to get together to discuss the distinct advantages we have that accelerate our businesses.

Each month, I offer this teleseminar and each month women tell me that they had many insights through the discussion.  If we’re not using what we so naturally are hard-wired to do, we can make business growth more difficult than need be.  So, I invite you to come along as well.  You can learn more and register at:

http://eight.eventbrite.com

(And, now Technorati will be pleased with me because it required me to display this code:  vn6uesdq4p in this edition.  Oh, the joys of technology. I mean that, too, without technology you and I would not be able to share ideas!)

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
….leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you
http://ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Listen to great interviews with successful women entrepreneurs at http://WomenOnTheMoveWithaMission.com

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