© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Last night,  I was facilitating one of my “Conversation Clinics.”  (Those are online and onsite groups that help participants with how to best manage current issues in their lives and businesses.)  And, last night, the conversation turned to living the values one professes to hold in day-to-day business.

I told them about a corporate group I had worked with in the afternoon. This is a team in trouble and the last resort was to call me in to “fix” things.  I facilitated conversations and offered training and coaching for three months. Yesterday was the last session.  The participants were very unhappy to know it was the last session. They asked the boss in attendance why that was so. His response:

“I cared enough about this team to bring in the best person I could to bring about the changes that are necessary. She gave you the tools, the insights and strategies that would make the differences required. I know she did because I have been here with you.  In three months, you have received all this information and not one thing has changed.  So, Dr. Shaler, tell them what you think.”

Wow! What a hand-off to me! I was prepared, however, and I said this:

“There is a huge difference between information and knowldge. I gave you the information. Only you can make it knowledge, by internalizing it. Only you can take responsiblity for turning information into knowledge that is demonstrable in your approach to your work and each other. I believe, from watching your interactions and speaking with each of you privately, that, despite my warnings, you were all waiting for someone else to change. You could take a hundred courses and have piles of handouts, books & DVD’s and they will not make a whit of difference until you integrate the information with who you are and what you choose to do each moment. That is why the boss has withdrawn my services from you. You have done nothing with the information.”

My question to you, dear fellow women entrepreneur: how much information are you spouting that only went from your head to your mouth? Until it goes through your head, heart, thoughts, words and actions, it’s just information. Now is the time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Once you know that, for sure, you can decide on how to offer your expertise and experience to the world in ways that are aligned with your vision, values, beliefs and purpose. That’s a integral component of business success and can make all the difference in your success in 2010!

If you want help with that alignment, or, want to ask a question or get feedback on an idea or strategy, you can book a forty-minute (I’m throwing in an extra ten minutes over the usual)  introductory mentoring session for only $59 for new clients. That can really kickstart your business confidently!   Register now at ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com/mentoring/index.htm

Here’s to extrordinary business growth in 2010!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler

Are your systems supporting you?  Do you know what needs to be done? Do you have a business plan? Do you know what your marketing campaign looks like? Is it all on the calendar broken down into do-able chunks?

It’s so easy for me to know that I should have all that, but, I resist doing it.  Not that I don’t do it.  I do. But, oh, how I resist!  I want to get on with things, right now. All that thinking through and organizing and making file folders, yuck! I’m just champing at the bit to get on and do things.

It was a hard-learned lesson that creating systems actually saves me time, frustration, anxiety and concern. I know when things are due. I have created a schedule of the tasks required to be ready by that due date and I usually meet the deadline easily.

This is what Michael Gerber wrote about in the E-Myth when he said that we have to take the time to work ON our businesses, not just work IN them. It’s seductive to think we are really progressing towards success when we are only working IN our business. Working ON the business seems to be, for most of my clients and certainly earlier for myself, to be so tedious.  Not so.  I can tell you that I certainly feel much better taking the time to know exactly what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and when so that nothing falls off the turnip truck!

If your systems are not supporting you, you are not supporting yourself. That’s what I’ve learned.  So, take a day to organize.  Hey, it’s only one day away from the joy of “doing” that will pay-off a hundredfold.  If a day seems like a trial, how about an hour a day for two weeks?  Just do it. You’ll be glad you did.

To your success,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you…and makes money.
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Visit our site to hear interviews with successful women entrepreneurs. They share their stories, strugges and successes to shortcut your journey!

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

“We don’t have any more money to pay you with. You can continue doing this for free, or stop.”

Those are words I heard this week.  Not unexpected, but still surprising, especially the second sentence.  Did the speaker actually think I would continue offering my services for no remuneration?  The answer is: Yes. She did. At least, she certainly hoped I would, because without my services she could not have what she most wanted, yet, she demonstrated a lack of regard for what might be best for me.  It was interesting, to say the least.

When G. Charles Andersen and I wrote Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we included a shortcut for going from an event such as the one above directly to a more empowering place.  When something happens that could easily make our stomachs drop or take us to our knees, we suggested training ourselves to go directly to this question:

“For what might this be good?”

Fortunately, I went there and said to this woman:

“I guess there must be something else I am supposed to have my Wednesday nights free for.  That will be interesting.”

Again, that was not the expected response.

I’m not suggesting it is easy to take this approach, but, it is much more empowering that any “poor-me, ain’t-it-awful, life sucks, the world-is-against-me’ stance. Being able to see the possibilities in a change of circumstance, condition or relationship rather than only the downside potential is a big help. We spend less time in recovery and more time focused on what we CAN do, rather than on what we have been prevented from doing.  We give less energy to the negative and more is available for the positive.

And, no. This is not a Pollyanna approach. It is a way of keeping ourselves from being the victim of those people, circumstances and conditions. Each of us has the power to choose our response. “For what might this be good?” is a good place to begin.

What do you think?

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Creator of MIDAS THINKING: A Mindset for Turning Life to Gold
http://MidasThinking.com

MIDAS THINKING is a four-week teleseminar program leading you to a new approach to creating the life, love & livelihood.  It can change your life, your relationships and your ability to make more money.

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

When times get tense, many people become fearful.

What should I do?
What’s going to happen?
What’s going to happen to me?
Why now?
What if there isn’t enough?
Why did “they” do that?

So, many questions. They surface in the board room, the dining room and the bedroom…and everywhere there is quiet time to fall into anxiety, or conversation leading to shame and blame. When we wrote Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we talked about a generalized tendency in our culture, families and workplaces to engage in SBJJ and how destructive this is. When fear hits, SBJJ can become more than a tendency. It becomes the main topic of conversation, a way to try to make ourselves feel better.  And, it is a total waste of time, energy and relationships.

SBJJ?  Shame, blame, judge and justify! If I can just make it come out all right in my own mind or in my conversations, then, I’ll feel better.  It’s not so, is it? You don’t really feel better when you find someone to blame, shame or judge. And, when I’m dancing as fast as I can to justify my feelings, behaviors or choices, inside I know that it is a futile dance.

There are two other choices: focus and faith.  When I wrote What You Pay Attention to Expands a few years ago, before the Law of Attraction and The Secret became so popular, the very idea expressed in the title made an impression.  Where am I placing my attention?  If I’m looking for someone to SBJJ, I cannot be actively taking responsibility for my own life. And, if I take some time to reflect on my own thoughts and behavior, I might find that I am spending an inordinate amount of time worrying these days. If that’s the case, the worry will expand. My fear will expand. And, what’s the use of that?

I’ve learned that I am powerful, and I know you are, too. You can change the focus of your thoughts. If there is more month than money, focus on what you can do rather than on what you cannot. If someone is dancing on your last nerve, find something to love about them and express your appreciation.  No, no, now, this isn’t Pollyanna thinking. This is you and me taking charge of our thoughts and the fears and anxieties that can arise from them.  It’s your choice what you think about.

And, then there is faith. I’ll say this simply: if we believe in a God, a Higher Power, a Universal Life Force “whose good pleasure it is to give you the Kingdom”, that provides abundantly, freely and constantly, wouldn’t it be atheism to be afraid?

I’ll leave you with that last thought.  It might just set you thinking…which is the whole point of today’s post!  I hope  you’ll share your thoughts below.

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you
www.SoulWiseLiving.com

Host of  the hot new internet radio program, Women on the Move with a Mission

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Whether we define our success in terms of quality of life, joy in relationships, fame, recognition or piles of money, the first step in creating it…aside from buying a lottery ticket…is to consciously evaluate our alignment.  I know I have to do this on a regular basis in order to stay in the flow.  I expect you do, too.

There is so much talk about values and yet, I know that with my mentoring clients and seminar participants, actually coming to grips with those values is seldom done. How do I  know I value something in reality?  I demonstrate it in my daily life, in my thinking, speaking and behaving.  Otherwise, it’s just talk!

The other day, working with a group, I asked them to quickly name the top four things they valued in life. In fact, I gave them ten seconds only.  No one could do it.  The reason why not is that they’d had never taken the time for themselves to actually figure it out. And, yes, they could talk the talk with ease!

When we wrote on the back cover of our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, that ‘YOU MATTER,” we really meant it.  And, unless we treat ourselves as if that is true, we are kidding ourselves.  I ask myself this question:

“How have I demonstrated to myself today that I matter? Have I taken care of my health? Spent time in reflection with inspiring books or in meditation? Fed my soul? Made time for relationships that I value? Worked in a focused way following my business plan? “

The answer tells the whole story.  If my life is not centered around my vision, values, beliefs and purpose, I may be wildly off track and likely chasing dollar bills while living up to someone else’s expectations.

When I begin work with a new mentoring client or mentoring group of members , one of the first exercises is to work with values. When we have wrestled with that, there is sufficient clarity to move on with life, love and focused livelihood. I know the value of consciously aligning life for success.  I invite you to take the time to do so, too.

*  When you are ready to accelerate your progress and improve your life or business, consider an individual or group mentoring program with me.  Working on the telephone for three months together can change everything…and get you back in the flow in every way.  Visit www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com and call me soon.  I’d love to work with you to create the life, love and livelihood that fulfills you.

To your success.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you & serves the life of the world.
www.SoulWiseWays.com
Dr. Shaler is the founder of the Optimize Institute & Spiritual Living Network
Work with her directly to accelerate your success in life, love & business.

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