©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Some days, I want to scream.  I’m sure you’ve had that experience, too. Perhaps, not for the same reason. I want to scream because I cannot believe the number of distractions people who say they are focused on building their businesses find….AND JUSTIFY! ( Oooo, that’s just put the scream up a few decibels! )

As a business consultant and executive coach, I get the urge to scream far too frequently for that one reason alone. Wonderful, well-intended people hire me to coach them to systematically clarify, construct and grow their businesses. They swear blind that they want to achieve “A”, and are frequently running after the rest of the alphabet, with carefully constructed, elaborately convoluted, reasons why!

How do you determine if you are driving yourself to distraction?

• You are not getting where you say you want to go in a meaningfully measurable way.
• You are feeling overwhelmed much of the time, too many wheels spinning and not enough hands.
• You are always attracted to new, shiny objects when what you were playing with is just becoming pliable, comfortable and useful.
• You vociferously defend your choices to stray from the mission you’ve set yourself and justify the departures loudly.

I know it is difficult to stay generally on the path. Shiny things attract. Marketing language of others beckons. Fear of “losing an opportunity,” or “leaving a stone unturned” paralyzes. Lack of confidence in your intuition and judgment wanes. Others are too ready to share their opinions of what you should do…even if you didn’t ask. There are many distractions. It is up to each one of us to calculate the cost of tempting detours in terms of time, energy, money, frustration and loss.  And, it’s up to each one of us to ‘fess up to the degree of our commitment to our missions.  Sometimes, that’s just talk, too.

One thing I know for sure…and I learned it the long, hard way: I cannot say I want one thing, do another, and hope for a satifying result. Although, I do know a few people so addicted to drama, that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a tale of woe to tell. They love distractions, especially when they can make them someone else’s fault.  Go figure!

Thanks for letting me “scream” here!  Is it still a scream if no one is listening?

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business

www.Rhoberta.com
Escondido, CA
Follow me on Twitter:  www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
Join me on Facebook:  www.profile.to/rhoberta & on LinkedIn: www.LinkedIn.com/in/rhobertashaler

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

There is so much buzz about social networking. Everyone wants to teach you all about it and that’s wonderful. This is a very short post to tell you about someone you really need to know if you are serious about social networking. I spent the day with her and a wonderful group of people who are all serious about social networking.

Yes, it’s the buzz.  AND, it’s the buzz that is not going away!   As a follower of my blog…which I hope you are…you know I seldom introduce you to anyone. There’s a good reason for that. I only refer people that I can unabashedly endorse.  So, meet Sabrina Gibson!  She will teach you more about social networking in a free session that many others can see to get together in a paid seminar.

Sabrina’s website: http://SmartandSticky.com
Find her on Facebook: http://Facebook.com/sabrinagibson
Follow her on Twitter: http://Twitter.com/sabrinagibson

You’ll be glad you did.  And, if I didn’t say it loud enough before:  SHE’S AMAZING!

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
http://www.Rhoberta.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Yesterday I was involved in an affirming seminar that reminded me of many principles on which I have long based my life.  It’s always good to be reminded, especially by a young person who is really excited about the ideas. His enthusiasm let me remember what that time of discovery was in my life.  Thanks, Mat!

We were talking about focus and how specific it needs to be. There are various perspectives, of course. Some folks focus on the minutiae and get bogged down terribly. Others have such a big vision that nothing gets done. What’s up for you in that arena?

For me, I had to play with my personal zoom lens quite a long time to get the right perspective over the years. And, I’m always making slight adjustments. I do think, however, that my business is laser-focused. It’s all in the size of the laser beam.

My business is focused on the PsychoDynamic Success System I have created and how it applies to life, love and livelihood. It is a single focus, however, I had to get the accurate focal length to see that.  Yes, I help women entrepreneurs build their businesses by aligning their vision, values, beliefs and purpose with their expertise and experience.  And, I do it by helping clients to integrate the psychological, mental, emotional and spiritual in their lives.  It works when clients are having personal, relationship or business issues, or all three. After all, who can separate these things?  So, my focus is on creating PsychoDynamic Success in life, love and livelihood.

That lead me to think about the people who encourage us to have a niche market.  That’s an excellent idea. We do again have to adjust our focal length to the appropriate height, width and depth of the niche we serve.  Once that is established, we again laser-focus.

There is something called Principle 212. It’s all about the fact that water boils at exactly 212 degrees.  At 211, the water is very, very hot. At 212, it becomes steam and releases enormous energy. As it was explained to me, the purpose of Principle 212 was to tell folks that they had to put everything in one pot and  turn up the heat. That’s the way to get something to really percolate.

I agree. But, as I thought about it and discussed it with my partner, it became clear that you can have any size pot if you have a heat source powerful enough. The bigger the pot, the larger the flame and the longer it takes to boil. Simple formula.  This helped me clarify my business today in the most important place: my mind.

To Your Successes!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
….leading you to create the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

After writing the last post on “feathering nests,” I continued to think about my decision-making process when these wonderful-sounding offers come to my Inbox.  There are some that are so obviously following the long sales letter format of one another that I just delete them.  Just before that, though, I scroll to the bottom to see what the offer is. That’s of interest for two reasons: it may be a worthwhile one, or, it may be good for a laugh as they try to make me believe that I am going to get hundreds of bonuses worth thousands of dollars if I just am wise enough to give them “Only $997.”

Yesterday, having coffee with a speaking colleague I truly appreciate having in my life, another side of the issue arose.  We were talking about the integrity–or lack thereof–in the marketing messages and hype that collects in our Inboxes daily. Our attention turned to the so-called “big stages” where the “big boys” scratch one another’s backs and fill one another’s bank accounts.  Of course, it’s wonderful that they do so well and that people find value in what they do. That’s not it question at all.  It was how they do it that was our topic of conversation. What could we learn and what could we not participate in once we did learn it?  That was it.

Today, I just want to share one thing that came up as we enjoyed the beautiful summer day outside beneath cool trees in the California afternoon: an ethical dilemna.  My friend spoke of a person we both knew.  When I first met him, he was at the very beginning of his career, speaking at anywhere he could for little or no money, happy to sell a product! And, most of us started right where he was.  I know I did.  As I watched his career, he tried a few topics and directions to establish the right market for himself.  Again, that’s usually how it goes except for those fortunate people who know the exact thing, or the only thing, they are offering.  Over about seven years, this fellow has carved out a niche for himself in a market that he found to be lucrative.  (Why choose one that isn’t, right?) And, he has done well.

Here’s where the conversation turned serious.  This guy knew the value of cultivating a business relationship with my friend and she was interested in knowing more about his work.  So, she went along to one of his weekend programs. There, she had her eyes opened to something that was simply not acceptable to her.  Almost everything in the program had been taken from other people’s materials, old trainings–all resurrected and regurgitated. This fellow was making huge sums of money with no original thought, insight or offering.

So, here’s are my questions for you to consider:

• Is that just good business sense?
• Is that a lucky break for him?
• Is there nothing new in the world to bring to the table?
• Is that ethical?
• Do people pay for the transmission of the information–the edu-tainment–or the information itself?
• If the quality of the information is still valid, is there anything amiss in simply passing it on for big bucks?
• Is it the fact that he passed all the old info on AND CALLED IT HIS OWN acceptable?

What do you think?

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to the life, love & livelihood that fulfills you…and makes money.
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Read more about my work at www.Rhoberta.com and you can subscribe to my ezines there, too.
I invite you to follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter at  RhobertaShaler

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

This morning I was thinking about the ebb and flow of relationships, the ups and downs. How is it that one day he makes your heart flutter and another day the fact that he took out the garbage is the height of your appreciation? It’s not that you’ve forgotten the flutters, but, today, not so much!

My answer: because life is complicated, painful and difficult…and, often, unpredictable. One morning I wake up knowing that absolutely everything is life is do-able, available and ready for me. Another morning, I really have to talk myself into remembering the spiritual principles that I believe, pick myself up and get back on track. Yes, it’s not automatic. The joy of being human!

So, if that’s what’s going on in me, it is likely that the same thing is going on in my partner. Of course, he’s a saint, but, it just might be that even saints have to remember their path consciously on some mornings! That’s him, though, and I’ve got my own work to do, so….

Then, I have to remember that how I feel about me affects how I think and feel about him. One thing about accepting responsibility for being a grownup is clear: I am the author of my thoughts and feelings. Wouldn’t it be lovely to accurately be able to say,

“You make me miserable, angry, unhappy, …or pick one?”

Actually, many people do say that, but it’s just not true. You know that. You are the only one who responds to people, ideas, situations and conditions. No one creates that response for you. So, there is no one to blame.

So, the question of the day is:

“Am I taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and circumstances? Or, is there some little gremlin thought that I have that someone else has the power to push my buttons?”

If you’ve given the power away, take it back.

Make it a great day.

Much love, great joy and many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
…leading you to align your values, vision, beliefs & purpose to create the life, relationships & livelihood that fulfills you
www.SoulWiseLiving.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Join me on Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn at RhobertaShaler

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