© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Last night,  I was facilitating one of my “Conversation Clinics.”  (Those are online and onsite groups that help participants with how to best manage current issues in their lives and businesses.)  And, last night, the conversation turned to living the values one professes to hold in day-to-day business.

I told them about a corporate group I had worked with in the afternoon. This is a team in trouble and the last resort was to call me in to “fix” things.  I facilitated conversations and offered training and coaching for three months. Yesterday was the last session.  The participants were very unhappy to know it was the last session. They asked the boss in attendance why that was so. His response:

“I cared enough about this team to bring in the best person I could to bring about the changes that are necessary. She gave you the tools, the insights and strategies that would make the differences required. I know she did because I have been here with you.  In three months, you have received all this information and not one thing has changed.  So, Dr. Shaler, tell them what you think.”

Wow! What a hand-off to me! I was prepared, however, and I said this:

“There is a huge difference between information and knowldge. I gave you the information. Only you can make it knowledge, by internalizing it. Only you can take responsiblity for turning information into knowledge that is demonstrable in your approach to your work and each other. I believe, from watching your interactions and speaking with each of you privately, that, despite my warnings, you were all waiting for someone else to change. You could take a hundred courses and have piles of handouts, books & DVD’s and they will not make a whit of difference until you integrate the information with who you are and what you choose to do each moment. That is why the boss has withdrawn my services from you. You have done nothing with the information.”

My question to you, dear fellow women entrepreneur: how much information are you spouting that only went from your head to your mouth? Until it goes through your head, heart, thoughts, words and actions, it’s just information. Now is the time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Once you know that, for sure, you can decide on how to offer your expertise and experience to the world in ways that are aligned with your vision, values, beliefs and purpose. That’s a integral component of business success and can make all the difference in your success in 2010!

If you want help with that alignment, or, want to ask a question or get feedback on an idea or strategy, you can book a forty-minute (I’m throwing in an extra ten minutes over the usual)  introductory mentoring session for only $59 for new clients. That can really kickstart your business confidently!   Register now at ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com/mentoring/index.htm

Here’s to extrordinary business growth in 2010!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Some days, I want to scream.  I’m sure you’ve had that experience, too. Perhaps, not for the same reason. I want to scream because I cannot believe the number of distractions people who say they are focused on building their businesses find….AND JUSTIFY! ( Oooo, that’s just put the scream up a few decibels! )

As a business consultant and executive coach, I get the urge to scream far too frequently for that one reason alone. Wonderful, well-intended people hire me to coach them to systematically clarify, construct and grow their businesses. They swear blind that they want to achieve “A”, and are frequently running after the rest of the alphabet, with carefully constructed, elaborately convoluted, reasons why!

How do you determine if you are driving yourself to distraction?

• You are not getting where you say you want to go in a meaningfully measurable way.
• You are feeling overwhelmed much of the time, too many wheels spinning and not enough hands.
• You are always attracted to new, shiny objects when what you were playing with is just becoming pliable, comfortable and useful.
• You vociferously defend your choices to stray from the mission you’ve set yourself and justify the departures loudly.

I know it is difficult to stay generally on the path. Shiny things attract. Marketing language of others beckons. Fear of “losing an opportunity,” or “leaving a stone unturned” paralyzes. Lack of confidence in your intuition and judgment wanes. Others are too ready to share their opinions of what you should do…even if you didn’t ask. There are many distractions. It is up to each one of us to calculate the cost of tempting detours in terms of time, energy, money, frustration and loss.  And, it’s up to each one of us to ‘fess up to the degree of our commitment to our missions.  Sometimes, that’s just talk, too.

One thing I know for sure…and I learned it the long, hard way: I cannot say I want one thing, do another, and hope for a satifying result. Although, I do know a few people so addicted to drama, that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a tale of woe to tell. They love distractions, especially when they can make them someone else’s fault.  Go figure!

Thanks for letting me “scream” here!  Is it still a scream if no one is listening?

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business

www.Rhoberta.com
Escondido, CA
Follow me on Twitter:  www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
Join me on Facebook:  www.profile.to/rhoberta & on LinkedIn: www.LinkedIn.com/in/rhobertashaler

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©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Are you thinking about waiting until January to plan? You’re not alone…but, I wish you were!  As a business coach, I know that my clients will spend December planning for 2010 and then breaking that plan down to the specifics for the first quarter.

You know the old thing: failing to plan is planning to fail.  And, we’ve all heard that when humans make plans, God laughs. So, somewhere in there, we have to make a decision.  Mine is to think through what I want to happen from my current vantage point (the only one I have) and articulate the steps I currently know to take to help it happen.  After that, the whole thing is open to further input from Upper Management.

If that’s not your modus operandi and you want something more practical and step-by-step, I offer that to my clients as well. Heaven knows, not everyone operates the same way.

One thing is clear: it’s time to reflect and examine the alignment of your values, vision, beliefs and purpose with your expertise and experience. If clarity is required and change is in the wind, you will then know and be able to prepare well. Creating an aligned life includes your business. Plan for it.

[BY THE WAY...If you are wisely ready to start now, I am offering a four session business plan prep program for only $349. That will take you to the completion of your business plan, ready to roll in January.  This is only for blog readers at this point, so, email me if this would be helpful to you... RS@OptimizeCenter.com ]

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
Success Solutions for Life, Work & Business
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.Rhoberta.com

The Optimize Center
Escondido, CA
www.OptimizeCenter.com
760.747.8686

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

• Do you balk when someone is in your face?
• Do you freeze when someone is aggressive with you?
• Do you think of a comeback hours too late?
• Do you live in fear of seeing or interacting or working with that person again?

If the answer is “Yes!” then you don’t know what to do that is effective and productive when faced with conflict. GOOD NEWS! The skills to manage and accommodate conflict are learned. That’s where you got the ones you have AND you can get better, more effective ones easily.

We have not come far from the reptiles when it comes to being faced with anger, conflict or confrontation. Our reptilian brain only knows how to fight, flee or freeze.  Apparently, conflict management wasn’t an option in the days of the dinosaurs!

With systematically developed communication and conflict management skills, you can feel much more competence, comfortable and confident every day. You know you can handle it, and that feels good.

Recently I was consulting to a company who had employee problems ruining their productivity and profitability. Morale was down the drain. Trust was almost non-existent. People simply showed up and went through the motions most days. On other days, it was all out war…in the most underhanded, undermining ways as well as loudly, rudely and viciously. What an incentive to take sick days!

No company can afford this. In fact, Dan Dana’s research shows that up to 42% of an employees time is spent engaging in or trying to resolve conflict. And, I add, without skills they can’t resolve anything!

So, the client had called me when he was dangling from the last threads of his tether.

“Help! If something doesn’t happen, we’re going to go bankrupt. They are difficult to work with. Their animosity for each other spreads to their attitude with customers. They demonstrate little respect for each other, and, I know they are just holding themselves back from being insubordinate with me.  What can you do?”

I said:  “Take a deep breath!”

And, then we began to unpack the issues, history and probably steps to solution.

The simple truth is: WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US!  If we once let them treat us badly, we’ve begun to set a pattern…and, often, set it in stone. This CEO had not developed a conscious culture for his company, had not communicated the ways in which employees would interact in order to stay employed, and had no mechanism for agreement. So, not only did folks have no skills, they had no direction.

Corporate culture must be defined. Yes, it takes time away from the day-to-day, but it is essential. Without defining corporate culture, anything goes.  If don’t know the agreements–and the consequences of stepping outside of them–there is stress. The problem is that without those agreements, no one knows where the boundaries are.

COMPANIES HAVE THE TEACH EMPLOYEES HOW TO TREAT EACH OTHER AT WORK!  They do that by pr0-actively addressing this in their corporate culture documents and discussing it fully–and enforcing it–with their teams.

What’s going on in your neck of the woods?

I wish you well.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
www.Rhoberta.com
www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com
www.WorkplacePeopleSkills.com

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© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

There is so much buzz about social networking. Everyone wants to teach you all about it and that’s wonderful. This is a very short post to tell you about someone you really need to know if you are serious about social networking. I spent the day with her and a wonderful group of people who are all serious about social networking.

Yes, it’s the buzz.  AND, it’s the buzz that is not going away!   As a follower of my blog…which I hope you are…you know I seldom introduce you to anyone. There’s a good reason for that. I only refer people that I can unabashedly endorse.  So, meet Sabrina Gibson!  She will teach you more about social networking in a free session that many others can see to get together in a paid seminar.

Sabrina’s website: http://SmartandSticky.com
Find her on Facebook: http://Facebook.com/sabrinagibson
Follow her on Twitter: http://Twitter.com/sabrinagibson

You’ll be glad you did.  And, if I didn’t say it loud enough before:  SHE’S AMAZING!

To your success!
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Consultant. Counselor. Coach. Catalyst.
http://www.Rhoberta.com

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